Want to grow old with you...

By the time our wedding rolled around, Grant and I realized we hadn't made sufficient time to get rings in order. So, we made a back-up plan. We took the bus to Wal-Mart and purchased 2 silver bands for $12 each, just in case. In the end decided to use my solitaire for the ceremony and the back-up band for him.

And this solitaire, for those of you who haven't seen it up close, is pretty much the world's most perfect ring. Absolutely gorgeous! And, as it just so happens...exactly what I've always wanted to sport.

We finally replaced Grant's back-up ring with a titanium band that arrived last week. He's in heaven to finally have a comfort fit band! We also got me a small band to go with my solitaire. He was a little confused at this request at first but I explained that if someone sees a solitaire, they ask, "When is the big day?" but if they see a solitaire and a band, they know the Day has already passed. It's probably silly that such a thin band of gold made me feel much more married, but somehow it did make it more official.

So I often find myself gazing at my married woman's left hand...pleased as punched and so happy I could purr on the spot. It's also comforting to notice Grant's. It's interesting to me how slapping something on his left ring finger makes him seem like much more of an adult than a few months ago.

We'll eventually replace these rings with matching tungsten carbide bands (it's been his dream for quite some time and he says I'm the perfect girl for him because I'm not only tolerant, but enthusiastic about the rings he's wanted to give the one he'd marry for years). But even these "newlywed" models seem so beautiful and perfect to me...

Being a married person, marriage takes up a great deal of my brain space. Since the wedding I've been working at a nursing home as a receptionist, and as it turns out, there are lots of opportunities to see married people.

The first couple to take my notice was a man who lives at another assisted living facility and his wife lives where I work because my building provides more medical care, which she needs. So, an attendant comes every day with him in a taxi and he comes to the nursing home to visit her every single day and we have a taxi come pick him up and take him and his attendant back to where he lives. He uses a walker and he moves slowly even then, but he comes.

Then there was another couple, they were British, who lived together in an assisted living facility not far from where we are but the wife had to have surgery and needed to be in a place where she could have medical supervision for a couple of weeks. He was tall and robust and able to come by himself, and he too showed up every single day. He would bring her down to the patio in her wheelchair and he would introduce themselves as "the newlyweds". Only married sixty-six years.

There is another man, with whom I've developed an actual friendship. His wife is also recovering from surgery although it's not clear how long she's going to need to be here. He comes twice a day. First in the late morning and he stays for quite a while, then again in the evening, just before she goes to bed--sometimes he's not sure if she'll still be awake but he'll check all the same. He says after sixty-three years of her being the house manager, he's finding it difficult to do her job. Last night he went to a Thai restaurant he read about in the paper because he had passionately loved the food when they took a 4 week trip to Thailand together years ago. He mentioned it to me when he left in the afternoon from his first visit. Then he came back several hours later with crab rangoon he'd brought back from the restaurant.

Grant and I are actually a famous couple in the place ourselves. I always work in the evenings or on the weekend, exactly when he's not in the office working on his dissertation so in his loneliness he often comes to visit me. He's such a common figure there that one day when he decided to stay home my whole shift at least four people asked where he was or if they'd missed him. Two residents, one co-worker and at least one visitor who comes in every day noticed.

Seeing all the other couples often makes me think of growing old with Grant. And we've already decided that if the time comes one of us needs to go into a place, we both want to go. I hope I never have to leave him like the other wives I mentioned...but if I did, regardless of whether he was still at home, or in another place waiting for me to rejoin him, or making his way with an attendant and walker...I'll bet he'll come and see me every day.

And that's what I see every time I glance at his left hand or mine...it's a whole lifetime we have to look forward to.

I can't wait to grow old with Grant.