The Miracle of Life

I know, I know. My waist isn't even really "big" and I'm still only in that awkward stage of showing where to someone who doesn't know me, it's just looks like I'm fat. Cute. I can still hide it pretty easily by wearing loose-fitting shirts and the like, although my bump is starting to protrude from my over-sized work-out t-shirts.

But that's only where the Fun begins...

There are certain things I knew to expect and that all the books and websites say. My first symptoms were stock-standard. Very first there was breast tenderness, but what they forget to mention is the reason they're tender is that they're busy doubling in size. At least the tenderness part is over. Just have to wait to wean a baby to get a normal size back...but by then I'll be pregnant with the next one.

And our friend Fatigue...suddenly if I didn't set an alarm, I could sleep for 11 hours, wake up and then take a nap just a few hours later. I think I might have spent more of that portion of pregnancy asleep than awake, to be perfectly honest.

Eventually morning sickness kicked in. I didn't actually vomit all that much, but I spent a couple of months wanting to. Constant nausea...the only way to stave off throwing up was to eat just about every single hour because although I pretty much always felt sick, I wouldn't actually get sick until I went too long without eating. And "too long" was usually more than 2 hours. There were a couple of times Grant started kissing me doing the affection husband thing and without warning I ran to the bathroom to hurl. Boy were we grateful when that passed.

After my first doctor's visit I had to have the obligatory blood work done. I had never given blood before, so I was nervous already. And we went immediately after the doctor's visit so I was already pushing my 2-hour max. And since it was my first blood work for my first baby they literally pulled out at least 15 vials they were going to have to fill. I closed my eyes after 5. When they did start taking blood, immediately I felt the color drain out of me as my body went limp and broke out into a full-body sweat--I'd never experienced anything like that in my life--and the moment the needle was out I leaned over into the trashcan beside me and threw up. These two tiny Asian women who were taking the blood got ice packs and handed them to Grant and led us to a dark room with a cot and commanded him, "You! Hold these! On her head! Don't let her move! She can't leave until she better! Sit with her! You! Now!" Turns out, Grant's specialty is nursing the ill and he did everything he was instructed and more. While I was in the washroom providing a urine sample he asked them how often someone reacts that strongly. They said at least once a day, especially among pregnant women.

That made me feel slightly better.

And then...Holy Hormonal Craziness, Batman! Ohhhhh, your friend and mine. Whether it's Grant telling me about some nature show he watched and I burst into tears or I watch Legally Blonde and go on a passionate tirade about how Elle Woods is a woman we all can look up to and teach our daughters to emulate (but with modest attire), you just never know what to expect from me. I've always been inclined to have strong feelings and been an emotionally driven person, but this is just ridiculous.

Frequent urination. Hasn't gotten sooo bad yet, knock on wood. But still. I never got up in the middle of the night and I haven't slept through one in months. Sigh.

Food cravings. So, a week or so ago there was the post about the whole container of french onion dip in one sitting, right? Well, I'd like to attribute that to pregnancy, but I'll be straight up. I totally would have done that whether or not I happened to be growing a baby.

Flatulence. Grossly excessive flatulence. I'm embarrassed to have driven Grant out of the bedroom. More than once. And he's a guy. A guy with a very high threshold for gross--the man raised roaches for crying out loud...

I already told you about my waistline. I think already having been so large that has actually been kind because the skin has already been stretched out. I'm wincing while I wait for my long-since healed stretch marks to turn an angry red again...it seems like it will only be a matter of time. One of my new cousins said she was impressed I was still wearing normal pants at all. Honey, first--most of the waists are low and I leave the button unbutton half the time. Second, over the past year I've gone through several phases of sizes. I almost cried in the dressing room when a size 6 brand name eased on oh-so comfortably. And by the time I got pregnant I didn't even undo the button or zipper to pull on/off all my jeans because they were so loose. Now, see above where I leave the dang things UNbuttoned for my own comfort. I won't be in those much longer.

And then there's weirdness. Like a nosebleed in August when we live less than a half mile from Lake Michigan. ?! Seriously?! Looked it up, oh yeah. Right there in the list of symptoms in the month I was in when we consulted What to Expect.

About a month ago I started to notice my skin was kind of itchy. It started on my belly and then spread all over my chest, down my sides and across my shoulder blades. Dry skin. Again, what on earth? Dry skin...in August? In the midwest? What is going on? Well, it wasn't just dry it started to literally just come off me in huge gross flakes. Like a sunburn that blistered and started to peel, it was so bizarre. I had to start having Grant lather the whole top half of my body down in generous amounts of intensive lotion multiple times a day. That one seems to have been short lived though...it peaked after a little more than two weeks and has since cleared most of the way up.

Oh--and this is while I'm still in the "best" part of pregnancy. I can only imagine what's ahead! My doctor showed me how my uterus is all the way up to my belly button now and she showed me which diagram of a side view internal look at a pregnant woman on the wall that corresponded to. I couldn't believe that the baby was already that big! Where am I stashing that, even in this belly?! She laughed and said that by the end I'll be feeling like I'm carrying a 12 pound baby when I'm really carrying a 6 pound one.

Well, it's fun to generate sympathy and comic relief at my woes...but there have been moments when neither Grant nor I can argue that it really is a miracle. Maybe the whole experience isn't the awesome wonder everybody talks about, but there are moments.

Like going to the doctor and hearing the heartbeat. I never get sick of that. We both started crying at the first ultrasound. A few weeks ago I could feel all sorts of crazy things happening in my abdomen but I just could not pass gas to relieve it for the life of me when I realized...oh wait...that's not gas. That's a dang baby!

And that's what you get after all the blizting of your body...a baby. That really does make it a miracle, I reckon.