Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Babies on the brain...again.

Grant and I are on a new kick with our Netflix subscription. Now that we're done being there for you in Central Perk, we're boldly going where no one has gone before with the next generation of the Enterprise.

You'd think this'd be the one place a girl could relax and try to forget that she's nine months pregnant and due to have a baby this Friday.

You'd think wrong.

In the premier episode of season two, they spend the first few minutes showing you all the new stuff they've done. After casting off the dead weight of the useless Tasha Yar towards the end of season one, they gave Worf a green uniform and new baldric, promoted Geordie to Chief Engineer, put Wesley Crusher in a less goofy-looking costume (those sweaters from season one--seriously? What was that?), brought in the ever-amazing Guinan and her bar and explain why Dr. Crusher suddenly disappeared leaving the bitter old Dr. Pulaski in charge who doesn't get that Data is more than a machine.

And then things get really interesting when the camera turns to Counselor Troi. Besides sporting a slightly less flattering uniform and a significantly more flattering hairstyle compared to the first season--a little floating light wanders into the ship and empregnates her during the night before the opening credits roll.

What a weird way to wake up, eh? I mean, I was surprised when I found out I was pregnant, but at least there was probable cause I could trace it to, y'know?

Well--not only does she get pregnant, but the whole process lasts 2 days. Two stinkin' days. And labor and delivery? Less than 5 minutes. And in the next scene the doctor is all like, "If I were to give her an examination today, I wouldn't be able to tell she had a baby yesterday--or even at all."


She went from five to nine months pregnant in like an hour! That's not fair! Dude, I want to hold my baby now! How come she didn't have to waddle around for months and have to deal with morning sickness and all that...crap?! How come I have to wait around actually hoping for any sign of labor while she just takes a walk and, "Oh, hey Data. How am I feeling? Well, actually, even though I told all you guys less than 24 hours ago that I'm pregnant, I'm in labor now, can you help me get down to sick bay?" And the delivery? Dude, such a bunch of bunk. For like 40 seconds she breathes a little heavy but experiences no noticeable pain whatsoever. Basically, I get more huffed and puffed making the bed than she did having a baby. And don't even get me started on my qualms with her recovery.

Such a hoser.

Oh, and the kid goes from a newborn to an 8-year-old in the course of like a day and a half. So I'm guessing she only had to worry about her diet affecting her breast milk for like a meal or two.


Oh, well. We've got plenty more of it to go that's hopefully pregnancy-free to distract us. Though Grant is thinking of switching us over to 24 now. He strongly opposed me watching 24 before now because he was worried that I would stress out myself and consequently the baby. I kid you not. Though now we're both starting to get just a little ancy and he's thinking maybe the adrenaline would help move things along...and if not at least the time would tick by a little more quickly. I've never seen it and I hear it's exciting and addictive.

But, we're just waiting around to have a baby in the meanwhile. It's kinda funny to me to be the enormously pregnant woman in the grocery store now that you look at and think, "Yikes, she looks like she could pop at any minute..." and you feel like you should be ready to dive to catch something.

Grant's mom had all her babies 2 weeks early. That was way back when I posted the ultrasound picture. Dang. My mom had both of hers 4 days early...that was Monday for me. Dang again.

I reckon it's like a watched pot--so I'm trying to find stuff to keep me from looking and hope I start boiling.

Still, it's kinda hard to not have babies on the brain right about now...


Kristina said...

We all feel for you! I was induced but we still had to wait for the hospital to call us. We sat around all day waiting for the phone to ring. It was miserable. We all hope for your sake that she comes a bit early :P Good Luck :) Jackie can hopefully distract you a bit when she gets there

Kristina said...


Danielle said...

If I could have a 2 day pregnancy, I might consider getting pregnant again sometime in the next 10 years. Stupid science fiction giving us all false hopes.

Lybi said...

Bahahaha! You are adorable. I remember that end of pregnancy feeling. It seems like you will be pregnant forever, right? Like you have to have faith that someday the baby will come out, but it is hard. It is worse than waiting for Christmas when you are an excited little kid. But man, I am envying you right now. Every single day you are MUCH closer to holding sweet little Kendra. Your pregnant days are numbered, girl!

Lily said...

Friday?!?! wow, that is SO SOON!!! your funny comment about being the woman in the store who looks like she's about to pop any minute made me remember that i had a young woman's leader tell me once that her water broke while she was in the pickle aisle. she was so embarrassed that she grabbed a pickle jar, threw it on the ground, pretended that was the source of the mess, and hustled out to the hospital. should you go near any pickle aisles between now and friday, it's a thought...