Quality of Life

Grant and I have a mutual close friend who got married yesterday. As if I don't think about marriage enough without help from the influences of the outside world! I've been really excited for this couple who got engaged just before Grant and I got married...to an almost disproportionate degree. I've always been excited for my friends when good things happen to them but it was just ridiculous. I've been turning to Grant for the past five months with questions and comments like, and "Wow, I wonder if her brother will be back from his mission in time to come...gosh, I hope so." and "Do you think they'll sell one of their cars? That'd save them so much hassle with parking since they live in the city and they both ride the train to work." Oh, and of course with me and babies on the brain, "How long do you think they'll wait to have kids?" Stuff that is absolutely none of my business just completely randomly popping into my head and out of my mouth.

So, why is that? Why has this couple come into my mind so much and have I become so concerned about their situation? Besides my tender heart willing Good toward all mankind and all that jazz? I mean--people get married every day with siblings out on missions and why am I concerned about others' street-parking woes when I have enough of my own to deal with? It's a little above and beyond.

I think it's because of what has changed about my life since getting married. As far as activities go, not much has changed about what will happen to me today and what happened on this day six months ago. Both days I got up and helped get people out the door and onto their day's tasks, I cleaned up kitchens, made beds, took care of random chores around the places I lived. Later, I'll work out, take some time for homework, get dinner as ready as possible before actually cooking it and at a set time I'll go pick someone up from the end of their day and come home with them to start the evening routine. But what happens after that has really changed the quality of life for me today compared to this day six months ago.

At the end of the day, I'm not an appendage to someone else's family either retreating to my basement room for the night or scurrying off to fill up the time some other way. At the end of the day, I am someone's family and someone else is mine. And it is so MUCH BETTER.

So I think the reason I've been obsessing about our friend so much is that I'm super eager for her and her now-husband to experience what I've been getting for the past five months. An incredibly heightened quality of life.

Grant's mom told us on our wedding day, "May this be the saddest day of your lives!" And so far, it really was--because what she meant and what has happened is, "May every day after this be happier!" And as our relationship has started that transition from two separates uniting and becoming one whole...each day has made us both happier than the one before.

I asked Grant a little while ago what he thinks has changed most about his life since we got married. I figured he'd say something his lifestyle, like being on a working man's schedule or eating something besides frozen chicken tenders or sharing the bed. He stunned me when without hesitation he said, "Well, it has a purpose now."

And I realized that's true of me too. Grant's not just part of my life, he really is my life and I absolutely live for the time we spend together. I never lived for the time I spent in my room after work, or even for the time I spent with other people. In retrospect, it's difficult to pinpoint just what I was living for...

But it's crystal clear to me now, and it makes me so incredibly Happy.